Fear dogs my creative endeavors. Over 30 years ago, I took a design class at a community college in Chicago’s western suburbs. One assignment called for drawing a familiar object. After much sketching and erasing, I transferred to paper the outline of a crumpled biking glove. The result pleasantly surprised me (I wish I still had it).
But the teacher commented, “Dave, shading!”
There wasn’t any.
Really, I didn’t know how to shade. Fear shut me down. It told me I might ruin the drawing and waste the hours spent on it.
Thirty years later, I hadn’t progressed.
Years ago, I found a picture of a smiling Thai fisherman in an airline magazine.
I got as far as an outline drawing of the man before losing steam. Fear syphoned my enthusiasm once again. The drawing lacked shading and dimension and remained tucked between glossy magazine pages for several more years. Occasionally, a hankering prodded me to finish it, but I couldn’t.
I finally resolved to complete it during the COVID-19 pandemic. Just in case I ruined it, I took the photo above as a remembrance.
Thanks to Drawing Essentials by Phil Davies at ArtTutor (now drawawesome.com), I learned techniques for drawing proportions and shading, which I applied. After a few hours each day, I finally crossed the finish line. It wasn’t perfect by any means — proportions were off, but the grinning guy at least looked human!
Fear
Fear exacts a heavy price. It robs the pleasure of trying new things and the confidence that comes with it. Publishing a book also invokes fear; but fear is a cruel master. Now, I keep the far-from- perfect picture near lest fear debilitate my passion to fulfill the next chapter in my writing journey.
How about you? Is fear holding you back? What is it costing you? What will you do about it?
